"I won't regret it. Not everyone spends a lifetime dwelling on a past relationship through the shadow of someone else!"
As the words left her mouth, the barrier that seemed to block her ears dissolved like rice paper in water, disappearing into the calm surface without a ripple.
But Jiang Ruoqi was stunned. She tried to recall what she had just said.
The other end of the line was so quiet she could hear the gentle wind in Gangcheng. Jiang Ruoqi listened to the wind of Xinhai and the wind of Gangcheng. Her heart, which had been racing, suddenly slowed, becoming as stagnant as time itself.
She remembered, and then regretted it. She had said the wrong thing. She had been so careful not to misspeak, yet she had blurted out something hurtful.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that..."
"I understand." For the second time today, Sophia interrupted her.
She sniffled. The usually reserved and elegant Miss Liang tried to control the trembling upward lilt of her voice, pretending she wasn't hurt.
"I lost my composure. You're not me. I shouldn't interfere with your choices from my perspective."
"Forget what I said today."
"...And what I couldn't say in person: Happy wedding, Seven."
How could she be happy after this?
They hung up gracefully.
Both were rational people. Even if they were unsettled inside, they would take a step back, blame themselves, and end the conversation quickly.
But the feelings between them couldn't simply be erased as if nothing had happened.
Jiang Ruoqi was racked with regret.
She stared blankly at her hot phone. The sudden wave of guilt was like rising tides, drowning her in the deep sea within a few breaths, leaving her bound by remorse and apology until she couldn't breathe.
Sophia cared about this the most. She knew Sophia was driven by her own experiences and regrets. She knew Sophia just wanted her best friend not to regret.
Yet this was the result.
Jiang Ruoqi clenched her fist tightly, her long nails digging into the soft flesh of her palm. She couldn't feel the pain anymore, but when she released, there was a row of crescent-shaped marks.
Since arriving in Xinhai, her ability to control her emotions seemed to be waning.
Jiang Ruoqi brought her hand to her lips, bit her nail, and pressed hard along the free edge, then released, then pressed again.
She wanted to give in to her emotions and bite the nail off in one go, to calm the confusion and panic in her heart. But as soon as she bit down, the chemical smell of the builder gel with its industrial scent made her stop.
But she... was so sad.
Sad with no way to vent.
The cab she had ordered was still a few hundred meters away, crawling like a turtle on the red, congested road.
Jiang Ruoqi unethically canceled the order as it was almost there. Suddenly, she didn't want to go home.
She would be alone anyway. She couldn't just go back and roughhouse Meng Shang's cat son, could she?
Actually, she and Sophia rarely disagreed. The phone call just now was probably the heaviest and most hurtful exchange in their years of knowing each other.
If she were in Gangcheng, she would immediately drive to her side to apologize. They'd find a place to have a few drinks, and she'd coax and wheedle until Sophia forgave her.
But now she was in Xinhai, and Sophia was in Gangcheng.
Sophia was most afraid of loneliness, yet now she had no one with her. And people who are emotionally reserved are most likely to hurt themselves. What if she had an accident while out of control?
Jiang Ruoqi turned to Ada for help.
Ada was easygoing and lively, always the cheerful one among them.
The message was sent, and a reply came quickly. Fortunately, Ada didn't ask anything, only said she would find Sophia as soon as possible.
After taking care of someone else, Jiang Ruoqi stepped onto the slightly desolate sidewalk. She looked up at the streetlamp hanging like the moon, and only then realized that she too was alone.
In this vast city, with its congested life, if she didn't want to go home, she had nowhere to go.
So now, should she find a bar and drink a few to empty her mind? Or walk to the hospital where Meng Shang worked and surprise him by picking him up?
Jiang Ruoqi was a Libra who struggled with decisions. Without motivation to make an immediate choice, she would procrastinate until the boat reached the bridge and naturally found its way.
Just like now: she followed the walking navigation for forty minutes, until she was just one street away from the First Municipal Hospital and could see the glaring red emergency light.
Yet she stood at the intersection, waiting through two red lights in vain, then turned and left.
She understood why she had come—under the weight of intense loneliness, she desperately wanted to prove she wasn't alone in Xinhai.
She also understood why she left—showing up rashly would disturb Meng Shang's work. She herself hated being interrupted at work, and doctors especially shouldn't be distracted by trivial matters.
Jiang Ruoqi was used to being considerate.
As a child, she did everything to keep her hardworking mother at ease. As she grew up, she made concessions to maintain harmony in her father's new family, which had been relatively kind to her at the time.
She was accustomed to prioritizing the satisfaction of those she cared about, putting herself last. Over time, it became a habit she couldn't change.
Jiang Ruoqi took a deep breath of the cold air mixed with car exhaust, pulled out her phone, and prepared to hail another cab.
Better go home.
Sleep on problems; let tomorrow's her deal with other difficulties.
The phone screen showed over ten orders ahead of her in the queue, with an estimated wait of more than thirty minutes.
Such is the trouble of being human—rejecting what's close at hand, only to start all over again.
Jiang Ruoqi's resolve to not let emotions control her vanished once more.
She rubbed the calloused side of her index finger, recalling the nail technician's advice each time she got her nails done, then reluctantly pressed it down again and stroked gently.
She tried to forget all the roughness and discomfort, but instinct made her remember, test, and finally repeat the pattern.
Jiang Ruoqi sighed. Next week, she must get a car.
Outside vehicles weren't allowed into the complex, so Jiang Ruoqi asked the driver to drop her near the main gate.
The delay from waiting for a cab meant she didn't get home until almost ten at night.
Jiang Ruoqi sighed again, lowered her head, and walked forward, stepping on her own shadow.
She calculated silently.
There were still eleven hours until work tomorrow, and she hadn't washed up, hadn't eaten, and hadn't even made it home yet.
How could the limited free time on workdays be enough for a worker to enrich their life and get enough sleep?
The street was deserted, which made it easier for late-night wanderers to drift without a soul. So even without looking where she was going, Jiang Ruoqi didn't have to worry about bumping into anyone.
She kept staring at her shadow, which grew and shrank, her mind a complete blank.
Until she reached the gate of the complex. Within her line of sight, a pair of men's leather shoes suddenly appeared. Budget-friendly basics, not a name brand. Above the shoes, black suit trousers wrapped around a pair of calves.
Jiang Ruoqi moved aside to avoid them, but the shoes seemed to be fixated on her. When she moved left, they followed; when she moved right, they followed.
Not sure if it was intentional provocation or just annoying. Jiang Ruoqi frowned, suppressed her anger, and looked up. All the pent-up frustration of the evening was about to explode. How could someone be so clueless as to pick a fight now?
But when she saw the owner of the shoes, her aggressive demeanor immediately deflated.
"What are you doing here?"
Meng Shang didn't answer immediately. Instead, he bent down and took her bag from her hand. The palm that touched hers was warm enough. Then he spoke.
"I got home a bit early today. When I saw your room was dark, I thought I'd come out and welcome you home."