"Be good," he said, his tone dropping.
"The temperature is low today, and it's not safe for you to come here alone. I still have a part-time job tonight. Let me take you home first."
He had changed a lot. Gone was the vigor of the past; all she could see in his eyes now was exhaustion and indifference.
She bit her lower lip, looked down at the dusty tile floor beneath her feet, thought of some heartbreaking trifles, and began to pour out her grievances.
"Before my dad went into business, he used to stay home and spend time with me often, when I was very young. Later, when his business lost money, he started not coming home. Because I'm a girl, every time he drinks, he blames my mom for it and quarrels with her. Mom doesn't say it out loud, but I know: since I'm not a boy, she won't have any expectations for me either. Although Auntie always comes to smooth things over and protect me, she's leaving too. She said she needs to go make money to support the family. From now on, it'll just be me alone again."
"Do all the people who are kind to me end up abandoning me in the end? If that's the case, it would be better if they hadn't been good to me in the first place. I don't want to be abandoned again."
As she spoke, her voice grew tearful, and she wiped her tears on her sleeve.
The setting sun was infinitely beautiful, but it was nearly dusk. Fortunately, in the thick fog, everything was blurry.
"I waited for you for half an hour just to hear your voice a little longer. I didn't dare tell you earlier; I was afraid you'd make fun of me. But I..." really missed you.
She pressed her lips together, swallowing the last few words.
Yi Zhuo's gaze had been fixed on her the whole time. At some point, his expression shifted.
He hadn't known. He really hadn't known.
If he could, he wished someone could take his place from the past and at least give her some comfort—like when her mother had forcibly cut her hair and she'd hidden in a corner crying, someone to talk to her, to tell her she was pretty, that long hair or short didn't matter. But there was no one.
Chang Xuyu was a little annoyed at her own traitorous tears. They fell as she spoke, like a string of beads that wouldn't stop.
"But you didn't say anything and just wanted to send me away. What about you? Where do you live? After you transferred schools, where did you study? I don't know anything... If I hadn't come to this institute today, I think I might never have seen you again."
"I don't want to go home. I don't want to go home and see Mom and Dad fighting, with broken glass all over the floor. Mom has to sweep it for a long time. I want to help, but she says I'm too clumsy and won't let me. I know she's fed up with me, and she doesn't want me to see her crying. So every time, I can only hide and do arithmetic problems for a very, very long time."
She remembered the times she used to walk to and from school with Yi Zhuo, how he taught her arithmetic. The few happy moments she'd had in the past were all spent with him. People often said that fleeting joy couldn't be held onto, so just look forward to future happiness. But those days were precious to her.
She could forget the future, just dwell on the present.
The more Chang Xuyu spoke, the more tears she shed. His Adam's apple bobbed as his heart ached in spasms. Finally, unable to bear it, he stepped forward and gently ruffled her hair, just like before.
"Don't cry."
He thought for a moment, looked at her, and said hoarsely, "I apologize. I'm sorry, Xuyu. I was too impatient."
He really had been through a lot in the past few years, forced to face everything alone. For someone without parents to look after him, making a living on his own was always going to be much harder.
His brow suddenly throbbed with pain. He rubbed it with two fingers, while his other hand could clearly feel the little girl's trembling body.
She must be really angry.
He sighed softly, crouched down to look up at her, and his tone became gentle and slow. "Then how about I take you to the nearby milk tea shop for a little while?"
Her eyes were red-rimmed. She pursed her lips at his suggestion.
"I've been crying..."
It was too embarrassing to look like this.
She didn't want to go.
Chang Xuyu was a classic beauty with double eyelids and big eyes, her almond-shaped eyes like spring winds and literary grace, tinged with a dewy innocence. Looking at someone with reddened eyes like that, no one could refuse her.
Yi Zhuo couldn't argue with her. He pressed his lips together and ended up taking her to his new place.
When the faint silver glow gradually spread across the world and their shoulders, Chang Xuyu realized they had been walking for a long time.
The moonlight was like sparkling snow. Pebbles on the ground were scattered one after another, a little uncomfortable underfoot. Occasionally, they could hear water dripping from the eaves and hitting the puddles with a crisp sound.
A row of old residential buildings came into view, ochre-colored on the outside. The windows of the apartments were various colors of glass, some chipped or cracked.
They slowly climbed an open-air stone staircase, narrow and difficult, barely wide enough for one person.
Chang Xuyu followed behind him, silent all the way.
At a green-painted wooden door, he stopped, skillfully pulled out his keys, fiddled with them for a moment, and the door creaked open.
It was very cold inside the room, with simple furnishings: a dim lightbulb, an old wooden table, a bed, and that was it.
Chang Xuyu pressed her lips together and stepped inside.
"I'll boil some water."
Yi Zhuo took off his coat and headed directly to the small kitchen, his voice flat.
The room was cold, the heating almost useless. The boy's clothes were thin, his figure tall and lean.
Chang Xuyu obediently sat on a small stool, watching him. He looked like a protagonist framed in a doorway in a movie scene—languid and casual, as if after being frozen in that frame, he would move on to the next set.
Yet he was still himself, with that elusive indifference about him. Whenever he lifted his eyes, it was like another world.
She thought the winter of 2006 would be forever etched in her memory like a good movie—
He walked out with the boiled kettle, poured two cups of water, and sat down across from her.
"I got that job because I taught myself all the math courses for middle and high school, entered a competition, and won first prize. That's how I was hired despite the usual requirements. But it's a bit different—I have to meet with the students' parents first. The pay isn't much, but it's enough to get by."
Then he took out a plump envelope and handed it to her.
"What's this?"
"Rent," the boy said flatly.
"Xuyu, please give this to my former landlord. She's a good person, but just because she's kind doesn't mean we should take advantage."
He had been to that place some time ago; the landlord had moved back.
Xuyu thought of Auntie Xue and nodded.
"Okay."
Once the water in the cup had cooled, Chang Xuyu took a sip. Watching the increasingly hazy mist, she spoke slowly, "Now I know where you live. Can I come often from now on?"
His hand, holding the cup, suddenly paused.
After a moment, the boy let out a casual laugh, but without any hint of cheer. He simply answered flatly, "What's so good about my place?"
His tone turned the question into a statement, as if stating a humiliation he had long accepted.
Chang Xuyu blinked, lowered her head slightly to meet his gaze, and suddenly smiled—
"Because I can see you here. Only I can."
She didn't want to go to the institution where he worked part-time. There, she wasn't the only one who could spend time with him. He had students and work to manage. But here, she could talk to him endlessly, watch him do things, just like before.
Her eyes sparkled like obsidian, with glimmers of light and laughter.
After several years of drifting, they both bore traces of growth. At this ignorant age of thirteen or fourteen, they were like newborn flowers, blooming brilliantly.
Yi Zhuo looked at the smile that reached the bottom of her eyes, and his heart stirred.
Chang Xuyu went on talking about many things, mostly reminiscing about the days they had spent together in the past, a long and steady stream. Though it had only been a few years, those memories were like cakes that had gone through many processes—exquisite and precious.
After a while, he could no longer hear her words. He just watched her mouth moving.
Finally, when she had talked herself dry and drank some water, he paused, fixed his gaze on her, and asked hoarsely, "Xuyu, if one day I disappear completely, will you forget me?"
She drained her cup, rested her elbows on the table, propped her face in her hands, and her cheeks had a slight pink flush.
What a strange question.
Unless she died, how could she never see him again? As long as they both lived on this blue planet, there would always be a chance to meet, right?
"Of course not."
Her eyelashes curved, and her smile was like a crescent moon.