Ji Shuhe stood in the dusty room. Sunlight streamed in through the dormer window, dust particles dancing in the beam.
She thought, if it weren't for the tickle in her nose making her want to sneeze, it would almost be romantic.
Maybe it was just finding joy in misery, but Xia Chun, who was a clean freak, couldn't accept such an environment at all. For the next few days until she left Xinhai, she never came up to the attic again.
Ji Shuhe's aunt couldn't bear to see it, so after work, she and her uncle cleaned up the attic together. The one-meter-wide wooden bed couldn't fit a spring mattress, so they laid down two layers of cotton padding and covered it with a bamboo mat.
Since it was midsummer, the attic was stuffy and hot. Her uncle installed a small ceiling fan over the bed. The desk and wardrobe were all from Ji Shuhe's father's time; the wooden furniture, though faded and old, was still usable.
Xia Chun didn't lift a finger for housework but was very generous financially. In front of the uncle's family, she handed a bank card to Ji Shuhe's grandparents, saying she would regularly deposit Shuhe's living expenses into it.
She also bought Ji Shuhe clothes for all seasons, from summer to winter, as well as stationery, books, bed linens, and other daily necessities. She added a few new appliances to the house and didn't forget to buy some clothes and items for Ji Shuhe's cousin.
Xia Chun also gave Ji Shuhe a bank card, bought a new phone with a SIM card, and told her to contact her immediately if she had any problems.
After having the transfer procedures completed in advance through a contact, Xia Chun prepared to return to Yuanjing. Since school hadn't started yet, she couldn't just leave work to stay with Ji Shuhe forever.
Fortunately, the new school was not far from home, and Ji Shuhe's cousin also attended the same school. Xia Chun's friend had already informed them; as long as the paperwork went smoothly, there shouldn't be any issues.
On the day Xia Chun left Xinhai, it rained.
Ji Shuhe had never seen such strange weather. The clear, bright sky suddenly became overcast with dark clouds, followed by thunder and a downpour.
The weather changed as fast as Xia Chun's face.
Xia Chun told the family not to see her off, but Ji Shuhe clutched her clothes and wouldn't let go. Unable to resist, they finally walked together on the wet flagstones, sharing an umbrella toward the entrance of the alley.
Taxis were hard to come by at that time; every passing car had passengers. Not wanting to walk too far, Xia Chun simply stood still and hailed a car, tilting the umbrella toward Ji Shuhe.
The rain was so heavy, Ji Shuhe remembered it clearly. The moment the umbrella handle tilted just slightly, a heavy patter of raindrops fell on her side.
Selfishly, Ji Shuhe wished the rain would fall even harder, that Xia Chun wouldn't be able to get a taxi, miss her flight, and have to stay another day.
But things didn't go as she wished; the rain would eventually stop.
Just a brief respite, and things naturally came to an end. She couldn't change the situation, only accept it, just like the reason she came to Xinhai.
Ji Shuhe's nose stung.
"Mom will regularly send living expenses to your grandparents. Don't worry about what you eat or use; I've given them more than enough."
"The card I gave you is for pocket money—three hundred a month. Budget yourself and don't waste it." Xia Chun paused, then added, "And don't give it to them either."
"Understand?"
"Mm." Ji Shuhe nodded vaguely, still keeping her head down, not daring to look at Xia Chun.
She was trying to make her tears fall straight down like raindrops, leaving no traces on her cheeks. Because staying in Xinhai for now... didn't seem to be a big deal to anyone.
To her, it felt like the sky was falling, but she couldn't let her emotions show, lest she make everyone unhappy.
Before she knew it, the rain stopped. The dark clouds overhead were pushed away by the wind, and the sun struggled to shine through, though the air remained damp and heavy.
A dark blue taxi pulled up to the curb, summoned by the hail. Xia Chun quickly reached for the door handle but didn't open it. Instead, she turned and hugged Ji Shuhe, who was closing the umbrella.
"Take care of yourself. Call Mom if you miss me." She gently stroked Ji Shuhe's silky hair and whispered a promise, "Endure it for a while. Once I've handled things, Mom will come get you."
Xia Chun did care about her daughter, but she cared about herself more.
"...Okay."
Ji Shuhe knew those were just words to comfort her. If it were truly soon, she wouldn't have been sent so far away to transfer schools.
After crying for a while outside, Ji Shuhe rubbed her sore eyes, cleaned her face in a puddle's reflection, and walked back into the old alley.
That afternoon, she sat silently beside her grandparents, watching meaningless TV until evening. After dinner, she helped her aunt clean up the dishes, then fetched water to wash up in her room for the first time.
Ji Shuhe changed into her pajamas and lay on the bed. The small electric fan spun overhead, humming loudly.
Actually, it wasn't that noticeable, and the attic had no soundproofing. Ji Shuhe could easily hear the footsteps and conversations downstairs.
But she couldn't sleep at all. She desperately needed something to occupy her chaotic thoughts. Thinking about her parents, about her home in Yuanjing, only made it harder to fall asleep.
The first night in the attic—a sleepless one. Even when the moon was high and all was quiet, Ji Shuhe was still carefully shifting her body.
She tossed and turned, then suddenly sat up.
Probably a side effect of insomnia.
As the saying goes, everyone has their bodily needs. Now she really needed to go to the bathroom...