"I'm impotent... To hold a wedding is because I haven't met the right person yet."
An awkward silence filled the carriage.
Qian Xingzhi regretted it instantly. In the past, when joking with her female friends, she'd always spout nonsense like, "You're so wonderful, I'd marry you if I could, but too bad I don't have the parts."
Karma for too much abstract joking had come back to bite her.
Not knowing if Lu Yu was helping her cover, he said, "So Lord Qian is quite greedy—wanting both matched status and a meeting of hearts."
Since personal talk was awkward, she'd switch to official matters. Qian Xingzhi bluntly changed the subject.
"Are the assassins who attacked you a few days ago the same group from five years ago?"
"I don't know."
Qian Xingzhi didn't believe Lu Yu had no guesses, but she turned to another question: "There's something I'd like to ask you, my lord."
Instinct told Lu Yu to avoid this question, but he still answered, "What?"
"You've been kind to me many times. Why?"
Even if Lu Yu's use of her came with a bit more human decency than others, his loss of composure that night at Qian Mansion was too obvious. Qian Xingzhi wasn't obtuse.
Lu Yu didn't want to lie. In fact, he always broke his own rules around her, and he knew exactly why.
In the darkness, they couldn't see each other's expressions. Without the distraction of sight, baring one's heart seemed easier.
"You remind me of him."
Qian Xingzhi jolted. As expected! The classic trope! The love-hate substitute trope!
Wait, did Lu Yu have the same fondness for men as the Third Prince?
Lu Yu seemed to struggle to speak: "My father and mother always respected each other, until my father brought back his illegitimate son."
His tone was flat, devoid of joy or sorrow. "My father made every excuse, begging for Mother's forgiveness. I hated my father, and I hated that so-called brother of mine. I always ostracized him, belittled him, even humiliated him."
Oh, so it was a half-brother. Qian Xingzhi couldn't help asking, "What happened then?"
"Later, my father tried to reconcile with Mother. In the thirty-eighth year of Yong'an, he arranged for the four of us to travel to Nanchuan. What a hypocritical man—he claimed to seek Mother's forgiveness but still brought that outsider along, hoping Mother and I would accept him.
"On the run, just staying alive was a challenge. He wasn't skilled in martial arts, and I thought about abandoning him several times, but I could never bring myself to do it. When we were almost at the North Gate of Nanchuan, assassins caught up again. He never talked back before, but that day he hurled insults at me. He told me to get lost, said he'd trade his life for mine, so we'd be even from then on.
"He looked a lot like me, but our temperaments couldn't be more different. He always smiled at everyone, talked glibly to please everyone—just like Qian Xingzhi when you flatter people. Outsiders rarely knew there was such a person in the Lu Mansion. Before I could stop him, he ran off on his own to lure the assassins away.
"Since then, I never knew how to hate him anymore."
But Lu Yu said the opposite: "Later our relationship eased a bit, but he died of a sudden illness. I just have some regrets."
The story took a sharp turn and ended abruptly. Qian Xingzhi felt Lu Yu had altered the facts, but she went along: "I see. You miss your family, my lord."
Lu Yu steadied himself. He didn't like being the first to confess, so now it was only natural to push back: "Don't you miss your family, Lord Qian?"
Unfortunately, she could never tell Lu Yu the truth, but she was willing to bluff: "Of course I do. But actually, I miss another home even more."
Both spoke in riddles. Lu Yu said, "I heard them gossiping about you earlier?"
Qian Xingzhi didn't care: "Nothing serious."
"Now it might just be a few jokes, but the longer you serve as Director, you might not even be able to walk the streets without guards."
"We'll see. I don't worry about things that haven't happened."
Lu Yu admired Qian Xingzhi's optimism, but unfortunately, optimism couldn't change established facts.
They reached Suzhou without incident, and Qian Xingzhi finally enjoyed a hot bath. These days, carrier pigeons flew constantly between Nanchuan, Suzhou, and Shengjing, but there was still no news of the Third Prince. They only knew that on the night of the incident, the guards had all been knocked out by incense, and by dawn, the Third Prince had vanished.
Since joining up with the Suzhou army, Qian Xingzhi had her own carriage again. Finally, she could read her trashy romance novels in peace, sighing at how similar Nansheng's language was to modern speech.
Could this historical timeline be an alternate universe?
On the eve of departure, the Governor of Suzhou hosted a farewell banquet for Qian Xingzhi and the others. The reception hall was resplendent—even the New Year celebration hadn't been so lavishly decorated. But the opulence was overdone, losing all taste.
No wonder Suzhou was the wealthiest place in Nansheng Kingdom. Qian Xingzhi clicked her tongue inwardly, curious how much this governor had embezzled.
Halfway through the feast, the Governor of Suzhou raised his glass to Qian Xingzhi: "Lord Qian, I hear you're favored by His Majesty and the Third Prince. Would I have the honor of seeing your skills tonight?"
What skills? Fortune-telling? Feng shui? Yan Zhaoshuang had expanded her business too broadly—Qian Xingzhi felt embarrassed: "I'm flattered. It's just luck."
"No, no, no," the Governor waved his hand, his face creased with smiles. "Lord Qian must have exceptional abilities. I heard you came along to divine the Third Prince's whereabouts. Have you come to any conclusions?"
Qian Xingzhi knew the Governor had ulterior motives. She could only hem and haw—if she actually had to perform some shamanistic dance, she'd be humiliated: "Divination and spirit communication all require the right time, place, and people. Forcing a peak at heavenly secrets invites backlash."
The Governor threw back his head and laughed, the sound harsh and grating: "Lord Qian has quite the sense of humor. Don't be modest—let everyone see what you can do!"
Clearly trying to pick a fight. Qian Xingzhi took a calm sip of tea: "Your Excellency is trying to put me on the spot?"
Hearing this, the Governor's face darkened. He'd been irritated the moment he laid eyes on Qian Xingzhi—with that face, all she needed was a bun to look like a woman; her frame looked like a gust of wind could knock her over. And she'd brought her con game all the way to the royal family. Today, he would take her down a peg.
How dare a mere director of the Astronomical Bureau defy a governor? No matter who backed her, no one could outrank the emperor. With that in mind, the Governor barked, "What do you mean, Lord Qian? I'm hosting you in good faith, and you repay me with rudeness?"
Qian Xingzhi didn't want trouble, but if trouble came to her, that was another matter.
She raised her cup again, tracing the golden goblet's patterns. Instead of anger, she smiled, her tone neither humble nor arrogant: "I was joking. Seeing this hall full of gold and silver, Your Excellency must have spared no expense. With such generous hospitality, how could I spoil the fun?"
The Governor's temple veins bulged. He couldn't hit a smiling face, so he held back: "In that case, Lord Qian, give us a demonstration."
As if she hadn't heard him, Qian Xingzhi turned to Lu Yu: "Lord Lu, does your family have a place as impressive as this?"