As soon as she entered the bridal chamber, Qian Xingzhi felt dizzy.
Everything was too red—the cut-out xi characters pasted everywhere, the burning red candles, the neatly arranged wedding gifts. Four maidservants brought over by Liang Luming stood outside, staring at her with curiosity or teasing. Qian Xingzhi could hardly breathe.
Liang Luming's personal maid, A Su, came forward, but Qian Xingzhi stopped her first: "You may leave for now. I want to speak with my... wife alone."
A Su led the others out, and Qian Xingzhi walked anxiously to the inner chamber.
Beneath the red silk curtains, Liang Luming wore a magnificent gold-embroidered red wedding gown. In the candlelight, the dress shimmered and dazzled. On the round redwood table sat the nuptial wine cups. Qian Xingzhi's throat tightened at the sight.
"Lord Qian...?"
Hearing this, Qian Xingzhi finally moved closer to Liang Luming. She lifted half of the bridal veil. Liang Luming rarely wore such heavy makeup. With her cold, aloof expression, and the thought of what she was about to say, Qian Xingzhi inexplicably grew more nervous.
"I have something to tell you."
Seeing Qian Xingzhi's evasive eyes as if she had something difficult to say, Liang Luming already felt oppressed, and now a sense of impending doom grew.
"Lord Qian, just say it," she said, disliking people beating around the bush and wishing Qian Xingzhi would spit it out immediately. "How much worse can our situation be?"
You asked for it! Qian Xingzhi steeled herself. She pulled a chair over to the bedside and sat down, as if sitting would stabilize the coming situation.
"I am actually a woman."
The words were finally out. Though Qian Xingzhi's heart was still tight, her sense of guilt eased slightly.
It was the first time Qian Xingzhi had seen Liang Luming look so lost. The information clearly overloaded her mind; she didn't know how to react for a moment.
Qian Xingzhi awkwardly half-smiled, trying to snap Liang Luming out of her stupor.
"A... a woman?" Liang Luming blinked, then suddenly reached out to touch Qian Xingzhi.
"A woman can't just grope me either!" Qian Xingzhi jumped up, hugging her chest, her face bright red. "Miss Liang, I really am a woman."
Liang Luming finally came to her senses. Her hand trembling, she pointed at Qian Xingzhi's nose. The next second, she might burst into tears. "A woman?!"
"Let me explain," Qian Xingzhi said, wiping her sweat. "Can we keep our voices down?"
Liang Luming flung the veil away and stood up with difficulty under the weight of her heavy, elaborate headdress. Her initial bewilderment gradually gave way to collapse and fury. "You!! In the end, I might as well have married that fool from the Song family! I planned for everything, and you tell me you're a woman! Qian Xingzhi, what are you trying to do? Do you have a heart? I don't believe you!"
Qian Xingzhi panicked, waving her hands repeatedly to lower Liang Luming's volume: "Keep your voice down! You can hit me or scold me if you want!"
Liang Luming did lower her voice: "You're tricking me! You just don't like me, don't want to touch me, and you come up with such a despicable excuse! Qian Xingzhi, are you looking for death?"
"Why would I trick you with this? Can't you feel the thick cloth binding my chest?" Qian Xingzhi tried to get Liang Luming to sit down. "Grandma, do you want me to strip naked for you to see?"
"Strip!" Liang Luming seemed to have lost her mind. She had never lost her composure like this in her life. All her manners and aloof self-control were thrown to the wind. "Strip right now! Or are you impotent? Qian Xingzhi! Even if you're sick, I'd accept it. Don't go crazy with me here!"
As Qian Xingzhi grew more anxious, she actually laughed: "If I really didn't like you, I could use the mourning period to avoid you. Why would I come in here and tell you something that risks my head?"
Liang Luming froze. Before Qian Xingzhi could react, tears streamed down her face like broken beads. She leaned against the bed and slowly sat back down, weeping silently against the bedhead. All her previous brilliance was gone, like a wilting flower.
Qian Xingzhi muttered "my fault" repeatedly in her heart, then sat down again: "I never expected His Majesty to bestow this marriage. Besides, you are a daughter of the Liang family, of noble status. I really don't know what His Majesty was thinking! Please believe me, I didn't mean to harm you."
Liang Luming remained silent, unwilling to even look at Qian Xingzhi.
Seeing this, Qian Xingzhi quickly tried to reassure her: "Don't worry. Once the political situation in the court stabilizes a bit more, I will find a reason for you to divorce me."
"I... divorce you?" Liang Luming finally reacted. Through her tear-blurred eyes, she couldn't even see Qian Xingzhi's face clearly. She rubbed her eyes.
"Yes, you divorce me," Qian Xingzhi continued soothingly. "At that time, you can say I'm impotent, that after so long of marriage I never touch you, that we are emotionally incompatible and cannot produce heirs. You must divorce me. I do have some background and means. If you ever find a man you like, I will definitely help you. I will never let your life be ruined because of me."
Liang Luming looked at the anxious Qian Xingzhi. Something in her words seemed to strike a chord, and she started laughing. Then she was both laughing and crying, which confused Qian Xingzhi: "Ha ha ha ha ha! Good for you, Qian Xingzhi! Grandfather, Grandfather, your well-laid plans turned out like this! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It's all bullshit! A woman! She's actually a woman!"
Oh no, had she scared her into losing her mind? That would be a grave sin. The Liang family would skin her alive for sure! Qian Xingzhi gave an awkward laugh: "Miss Liang... are you all right?"
Liang Luming cried and laughed, then finally calmed down. She resumed her usual unruffled expression. "Qian Xingzhi, instead of papering over the cracks, I'd rather be taken to the Liang Mansion tomorrow and let them see what a stupid thing they've done! No, no, I'd rather take you to the court assembly and let the ministers, let His Majesty, see that the person sucking up to them all along is a woman! Just thinking about it makes me thrilled!"
Qian Xingzhi moved away from her and sneered: "So I overestimated Miss Liang. You just want to use my identity to mock them. That's enough to make you happy?"
Perhaps feeling embarrassed for having lost her composure earlier, Liang Luming seemed to want to regain her previous condescending attitude: "I am just a weak woman. What else can I do? Qian Xingzhi, you are overreaching."
Qian Xingzhi wasn't angry. She only smiled politely: "Miss Liang, aren't you curious why I disguised myself as a man, and how I managed to fool the Third Prince?"
"What's that to me?" Liang Luming sneered back. "There are plenty of people in this world looking for death. Do I have to care about all of them?"
"I see. So you originally resigned yourself to fate, marrying a low-ranking official with no background, who kowtows to the powerful and despises the weak, and is deeply embroiled in the struggle for the crown? Locked in the inner courtyard day after day, embroidering and managing accounts during the day, serving your husband at night. Although you are the granddaughter of the Left Chief Censor, your maternal family won't support you forever. If your husband neglects you, abandons you, philanders, you still have to fawn over him and bear his children."
Qian Xingzhi had a quick tongue, and Liang Luming couldn't get a word in. The more she listened, the paler she became, but Qian Xingzhi didn't stop.
"Liang Luming, is this the life you want to live obediently? As you said, marrying some fool from the Song family—though I don't know which fool that is—just look at the Third Prince. Following a fool can get you killed if you're not careful! To sacrifice your body and mind for an incompetent man, is it worth it?"
Liang Luming opened her mouth to argue, but Qian Xingzhi continued: "Oh right, right, and bearing children. Complications during childbirth, postpartum hemorrhages, being abandoned after giving birth—cases are everywhere. But if you can't conceive, it's still your fault."
"Have you said enough?!" Liang Luming finally interrupted her angrily. "This has been the way for generations. What can I do?"
As soon as the words left her mouth, both of them froze. They had been keeping their voices down; Liang Luming's shout broke Qian Xingzhi's momentum, but Liang Luming herself broke out in a cold sweat at her own words.
She had always been the most obedient one in the family. The Liang family had declined since her father's generation. Although her grandfather taught her to read and write, it was only to give her a good reputation so she could marry well and help the Liang family's century-old legacy. Her father was a hopeless disappointment who took several concubines. Her mother was timid, yet vented all her resentment at not receiving her husband's favor onto her daughter.
Be obedient, be submissive, be humble, be—give in to your younger siblings, know how to be a good wife and mother, continue the Liang family line. If you're not good enough, how will you win your husband's favor in the future?
She had sworn since childhood that she would never live the kind of life her mother lived, but that was not for her to choose. The most rebellious thing Liang Luming had ever done was to pick a fight with a few words during Qian Xingzhi's first visit to the Liang Mansion.
Perhaps because she had never stirred up trouble like that, or because they all knew marrying Qian Xingzhi was a humiliation for her, no one reproached or punished her that time. Her grandfather even took her to his study and earnestly asked her to endure for the Liang family's sake, promising she would not be treated unfairly in the future.
The future was all illusory; only the present mattered most. She prided herself on being clear-headed, yet she had uttered the very words she detested most in front of Qian Xingzhi. How ridiculous.
While both were lost in thought, A Su's worried voice came from outside: "Lord Qian, is something wrong?"