Will you have already grown accustomed to the nobility and luxury of the Duke Mansion and come to despise your own origins?
Lu Shuo clenched his hands tightly, gritted his teeth, and didn't dare blink, afraid that tears would fall and be seen by Tianqing.
The night wind howled past him, masking his choked, labored breathing.
"Young Master Lu."
Suddenly, someone called out to him. Lu Shuo looked up sharply, and two large tears dropped onto his chin.
Helan Pei and Zisu, approaching from the opposite direction, were stunned.
Especially Zisu; after a moment of shock, she felt awkward. The two of them stood there, at a loss for how to react.
The young lady had just returned from asking the Eldest Young Master questions about her book. On the way back to her courtyard, she happened to encounter Lu Shuo and his servant. Though she didn't know why they were only now returning to their rooms, since they had met, a greeting was in order.
Zisu had been the one to call out, but everyone had seen Lu Shuo's tears.
Even Tianqing was momentarily taken aback. "Young master..."
Embarrassed, Lu Shuo hastily wiped his face with his sleeve, sniffled hard, and said with a nasal voice, "Greetings, Fourth Miss."
He lowered his head and stepped aside to make way for her.
Though the path was wide enough for five or six people to walk abreast.
But Helan Pei didn't leave immediately. Instead, she turned to Zisu and blinked at her.
Zisu cleared her throat and asked Tianqing, "What's wrong? Has someone bullied Young Master Lu?"
Lu Shuo hurriedly said, "No, no, no one bullied me. I just... just suddenly missed my parents..."
"Oh..." Zisu scratched her cheek, even more awkward, and offered a dry consolation, "Please accept my condolences, young master."
Lu Shuo nodded vaguely, not even sure what he was saying. "It's nothing, nothing serious. Please go ahead..."
But Helan Pei didn't rush off. She lowered her eyes slightly, pressed her palms together, and made a gesture by her cheek, as if indicating sleeping. The pearls dangling from her ribbons swayed against her neck, casting shallow shadows. Lu Shuo stared at her movements, puzzled.
Before he could ask, Helan Pei withdrew her gesture, gave him a slight smile and a nod, then left with Zisu.
Lu Shuo gazed blankly at her retreating figure until she disappeared through the gate. Then he turned to Tianqing and asked quietly, "What did the Fourth Miss mean...?"
Tianqing thought for a moment. "She probably meant to wish you a good rest and sweet dreams."
Sweet dreams... Would his parents appear in his dreams? If they could see how he was living now—his food, clothing, and lodging—what would their reaction be?
His nose began to sting again, but he didn't dare embarrass himself in public. He quickly strode toward his own courtyard.
—
"Earlier, I thought Young Master Lu was just withdrawn and quiet. But it turns out he's quite the crybaby, even weeping on the path," Zisu muttered as she tidied the books on the shelf. "It's true that losing both parents is pitiful, but crying like this in the mansion might make people think we've wronged him... Though we do owe him, that's not what I mean. You understand, miss..."
Helan Pei slowly walked to her desk, picked up a brush, moistened it on the half-dry inkstone, and wrote on white paper: "He was holding back at first, not wanting to cry openly. But when he suddenly ran into us, he was startled and couldn't help it. Men value their dignity. Let's not mention this again. It's best to pretend we never saw it."
After reading, Zisu said in surprise, "Is that so? Miss, you observed very closely." She couldn't help but sigh. "Living here now, if he misses his parents, he can cry secretly without anyone bothering him. But if he goes to the Imperial Academy, where all students live in shared dormitories, crying at his age would make him a laughingstock. Not everyone there would be understanding about his parents' death."
Helan Pei didn't respond further. She put down the brush and picked up another leisure book from the desk.
What happened in the Imperial Academy was none of her concern. Besides, although Lu Shuo was her father's adopted son brought back to repay a debt, she didn't truly consider him a brother. As long as she observed proper formalities, that was enough. The rest was for her parents to handle.
After reading for a while, Helan Pei grew tired. She got up to wash up and prepare for bed.
Just as she lay down, she heard a knock at the door and a maid's voice: "Miss, the madam is here!"
The door opened, and Zhang Yizhu appeared at the threshold. Seeing her daughter sitting up in bed and Zisu about to extinguish the lamp, she smiled and asked, "Tired today?"
Helan Pei nodded.
Her father had returned to the capital today. Though she hadn't done much, she had been excited last night and barely slept. Although she had napped in the afternoon, the intermittent rain had prevented her from resting deeply, so now she was naturally exhausted.
Zhang Yizhu said, "I don't want to disturb your rest, but there's something urgent I'd like to ask your opinion."
Helan Pei looked at her mother curiously.
Zhang Yizhu cleared her throat. "It's like this. While you were out during the day, I asked about Lu Shuo's background and found out that he hasn't had any basic education. He only knows a few simple characters, let alone having read any books."
Helan Pei opened her eyes wide in surprise. He could barely read, and the family was going to send him to the Imperial Academy?
"In such a state, entering the Imperial Academy would be extremely difficult for him. Doing poorly in his studies is the least of it. I'm afraid that given his personality, he might be bullied and too embarrassed to tell us." Zhang Yizhu continued, "So your father and I were thinking, perhaps we should wait until he completes basic literacy before sending him to the Academy? It just so happens that Teacher Jiang comes to the mansion daily to teach you. Maybe we could let Lu Shuo join the lessons?"
She carefully studied her daughter's expression, trying to gauge her feelings while cautiously adding, "Of course, your studies are far ahead of Lu Shuo. Teacher Jiang couldn't possibly teach you both the same material. She would just need to find time to teach him the basics. Since he's starting slow, most of his time would be spent on tracing and copying characters, which shouldn't affect you much. Pei'er, I'm not saying I don't want you to study in peace. I just think that studying alone might be boring for you. Having a companion might make it more interesting... Of course, if you don't want to study with him, I'll find another teacher for him. It all depends on you."
After finishing, she stared intently at her daughter, afraid to see even a trace of displeasure.
—Not afraid that she disliked Lu Shuo as a person, but afraid that she was unwilling to accept a newcomer into her narrow world.
Helan Pei listened, remained silent for a moment, then threw off the covers and got out of bed, heading to the desk.
Zhang Yizhu quickly followed to see what she would write.
Helan Pei picked up the brush and wrote: "You want me to study in the same room with him?"
Zhang Yizhu blinked guiltily. "Er... that's the idea. You've always been studying in the side room on the Eastern Corridor. That room is spacious enough; adding another desk would be no problem. If we used different rooms, Teacher Jiang would have to run back and forth, which would be troublesome."
Helan Pei wrote: "Isn't that inappropriate?"
Zhang Yizhu: "Do you dislike him? Or is it unrelated to him, and you just want to study quietly alone?"
Helan Pei quickly wrote: "I don't dislike him, but I don't know his study habits either, whether he'll affect me. Moreover, has Teacher Jiang agreed to this arrangement? Has Lu Shuo agreed?"