Zhang Yizhu frowned, stopped Zisu, and said, "She's in a bad mood and doesn't want to hear the usual platitudes. Don't say too much. Later, if she stops brooding, you can play games with her. Just don't let her dwell on these trifles."
Zisu acknowledged and went after Helan Pei.
Helan Pei ran into her room, shut the door, threw herself onto the bed, and buried her face in the blanket.
Everything went dark. Helan Pei's eyes were open, and she felt her nose tingling and her eyes getting hot.
She rolled over, lay on her back, and covered her eyes with the blanket.
When Big Brother recounted the afternoon's events to Mother, he had omitted some details. She could tell.
He only said that Du Shenling bore a grudge against the Xuan Duke Mansion for his cousin being beaten, so when he met Lu Shuo, he spoke rudely, leading to a quarrel.
But Helan Pei knew that if Du Shenling had merely been impolite to Lu Shuo, Big Brother wouldn't have been so furious. Considering what kind of person Du Shenling was and why his cousin had been beaten before, it wasn't hard to guess that Du must have said something worse, which was why Big Brother let Second and Third Brothers throw an egg at his head.
No doubt he had laughed at her for being a mute, just like his cousin.
And all three of her brothers, along with Lu Shuo and the other servants who were there, had hidden this from her, and even her mother hadn't pressed for details.
They were all afraid of hurting her.
But what could she give them in return for protecting her like that?
She was a mute, a burden to the Duke Mansion. Her existence seemed useless except to give others another reason to mock them.
If it weren't for her, Big Brother wouldn't have gotten into a fight, the Song Duke Mansion wouldn't have picked a fight today, Lu Shuo wouldn't have been hurt for no reason, and her parents wouldn't have to clean up the mess.
What use was she? What could she do? Did it make any difference whether she did something or not?
Words were on other people's mouths. Could she stop their mouths?
Helan Pei sniffled softly under the blanket.
There was a knock at the door. "Miss, Miss, may I come in?"
Helan Pei ignored her.
Zisu: "I'm coming in then?"
Helan Pei still didn't answer.
The door opened, and Zisu poked her head in. Seeing Helan Pei half-covered by the blanket with her lower body hanging off the bed, she walked over and tickled her exposed ankle.
Helan Pei quickly pulled her leg back, but stayed huddled under the blanket.
Zisu said, "Miss, if you're unhappy, it's okay to be alone, but you shouldn't cover your head like that, or you'll get stupid."
Seeing Helan Pei not move, Zisu gently tugged the blanket. It came down, revealing Helan Pei's slightly reddened eyes.
Helan Pei rolled over and lay on her stomach, hiding her face from Zisu.
Zisu pursed her lips and sat down on the footstool.
In fact, incidents like those with Young Master Wu or Young Master Du happened two or three times a year. Sometimes Miss knew, sometimes she didn't, and sometimes even the Duke and Madam didn't find out—only the servants talked among themselves.
Perhaps Miss herself knew that there was far more malice in the outside world than she was aware of, which was why she didn't want to go out.
But this kind of thing couldn't be controlled, and any advice from others would sound like they were talking from a position of comfort. To move past it, Miss had to rely on herself.
Fortunately, Miss wasn't the type to wallow in sorrow for long. After a while, she would vent her emotions and return to normal.
Zisu sat quietly for about half an hour. Sure enough, she heard rustling behind her—Helan Pei was sitting up in bed.
Her eyes were no longer red, but her face was expressionless. She slowly got off the bed and went to the table to get a cup of water.
Zisu quickly stood up and said, "Miss, it's still early. How about I play a game with you? What about Chupu?"
Helan Pei shook her head.
She wasn't in the mood for games.
Zisu: "Then maybe read a book?"
Helan Pei's gaze swept over the bookshelf, but she felt no interest and couldn't focus on a single word.
She put down the cup, walked to the door, and stared at the star-filled night sky for a while. Suddenly, she lifted her skirt and stepped outside.
Zisu picked up the lantern and followed. "Miss, where are you going?"
After a pause, she realized Miss was heading toward the courtyard where the young masters lived. She couldn't help scratching her forehead.
The young masters weren't home right now, so the only person Miss could be looking for was Lu Shuo.
"Are you looking for Young Master Lu, Miss?" Zisu asked.
Helan Pei nodded.
"Young Master Lu was shaken up today. I wonder if he's already asleep," Zisu murmured.
She actually hoped Lu Shuo was asleep, because it felt a bit strange for Miss to visit his courtyard so late, especially since she had already seen him during the day.
But unfortunately, Lu Shuo wasn't asleep yet. After dinner, he had started practicing using only his right hand to study, so he wouldn't be too awkward in class tomorrow.
Hearing that Helan Pei had come, he was very surprised and asked Tianqing, "What is the Fourth Miss doing here?"
Tianqing shook his head. "I don't know."
Lu Shuo hurried out to greet her. As soon as he stepped out of the room, he saw Helan Pei standing in the courtyard, quietly watching him.
She was still wearing the soft white silk dress she had on during the day, but the round buns on either side of her head were not as neat as before; a few small strands of hair had escaped, trembling in the night breeze under the lantern light.
Her small figure was bathed in a warm yellow glow, like a child attendant beneath an immortal in a painting.
Author's note:
So much posted today; no update tomorrow. Next chapter continues on Friday at 9 AM.